Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Kids Say The Darndest Things

Things that I have learned since becoming a mother...

  • If there is something that you don't want repeated to or about anyone, don't say it in front of your child. Because it will be repeated. If you MUST say it in front of your child, do NOT tell them "Don't repeat this" or "Don't tell anyone I said that"... because they will.
  • To a child, blood is never thicker than water. They will tattle on you for accidentally dropping the F bomb or screaming a curse word when you stub your toe on something that felt like it very well may have broken it just as soon as they'd tattle on the kid that sits next to them in class for yanking on one of their pigtails.
  • Kids are very willing to shout out "I love your boobies mommy!" in the middle of a crowded airplane without so much as batting an eyelash. They need to be taught that it's not something appropriate to do, or else they will continue. A lot.
  • Unless it's a matter of life or death, it's not really necessary to correct a child's pronunciation of something every single time they say something incorrectly. It will result in a "no it's not, it's...." argument about 99.9% of the time and will only end in your frustration, and the child still thinking they're right.
  • No matter how many times you say to a child, "You're not going to like it" when they ask you if they can have a taste of what you're eating, they're not going to believe you. And they'll ask again to try it anyway. Promptly resulting in a "Ew, I don't like that" as soon as they've put it in their mouth.
  • Children, even small ones, have remarkable memories. So if you're bribing your child so they'll do something, or you're bluffing... be prepared for them to call you on your bluff. So if you tell them "If you behave you'll get a toy," and then you walk out of the store without said toy.... they will remind you that they have, in fact, done what you've asked, and now it's time for YOU to hold up your end of the bargain.
  • If you're child asks you to sing them a lullaby or read them a bed time story, it will never be "just one please". It will always be "sing/read me another one" as soon as the "just one" has been compelted. And the "just one more" is always going to be "just one more" right after that as well.
  • If your child is afraid of caterpillars or fireflies... chasing them with said bugs does not cure them of their phobia... just sayin'.
  • You will generally carry grudges against people who hurt your children's feelings longer than your children will. It's ok to let go. If it doesn't bother your baby anymore, you don't have to let it bother you either. It won't kill you.
  • Sometimes just taking your children "for a ride" seems like a good idea. But you end up having to bring a portable DVD player, plenty of movies to choose from, crayons/coloring books, toys, and lunch. Which is pretty much everything you'd have at home. So the ride to check out scenery then becomes pointless. As they're not looking.

Just a few tips I've picked up along the way. I'm sure there are more, but I'm battling a migraine and my brain isn't functioning at optimum level. So with that, I bid you adieu.

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