Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Mommy She's Looking At Me!

I love my oldest. And I love my nieces. I really do. Alanna is 8 months older than Savhanna who is 1 year and 2 weeks older than Summer. They are great little girls and I love them dearly.

From left to right: Summer, Alanna, Savhanna, and Lydia down in front

Put the 3 of them together though.... and they are a pain in the butt. A big fat pain in the butt. Don't get me wrong, even when they're together, I love them.... but they fight like cats and dogs. Everything from "Alanna's being bossy" to "Summer pushed me" to "Savi won't let me play". I've heard it all.

They've been together since they were born though. I bottlefed Savhanna while I spoon fed Alanna in a saucer. I've put their hair in pigtails and braids since it was long enough for me to do so. They love each other. But sometimes they can't stand each other. And they like to let everyone know it too.

Yes, I have a moral to the story.

Kids need to know they've got boundaries they can't cross. They need to know you've set limits for them and that there aer consequences to their actions. You can't get frazzled and harried and frantic or flip out on them. Even if you're pretty much at your wits end. Believe me. I've been there. They see that and they run with it. And believe it or not, they feed off your mood. If you're stressed out, it stresses them out, only they don't know how to deal with it.

Alanna and my nieces do just that. With certain people, they fight. Non stop. With others, it's only occasional, and once they've been made aware of the consequences, they stop. If they know the deal before I ever get there, then we're good to go.

Kids need boundaries. As much as they say they don't like rules, they do better with them. They act better, they feel better... they just do better knowing what's expected of them. If I tell the girls when we get there... "You get three strikes, you fight once and it's a warning. You start twice, and it's time out for the culprits. Three times and I pack up and go home..." usually only one of them makes it to time out. And the visit is much calmer and a lot more fun for them because they're PLAYING. Not bickering. And it's a lot calmer for ME not having to run after them saying "Why is she crying?!" "What is going on?" "Who started it?"

1 comment:

  1. Amen! Kids do need boundaries. They function better if they know how far they can go.