Ever been on a plane?
I am not a seasoned traveller, only flown a handful of times. BUT, I have flown enough to remember the finer points of the safety instructions at the beginning of each flight before take off.
If cabin pressure drops or whatever (ok, so maybe I didn't pay THAT much attention) those oxygen masks drop down for you to slip over your head and put over your mouth. Anyways... instructions are that even if you have small children, you are to put your mask on before you help anyone else with theirs.
Seems kind of selfish right? In a panic, looking at your poor kiddo your motherly instinct kicks in and tells you to save them first right? That making sure they're ok is more important than YOU being able to breathe properly. Isn't it? Ok.... peep this. Say you do go for their mask first. And you can't breathe yourself. So while fumbling around to assist your little tkye, you pass out due to a lack of oxygen. And then your little person is still left without a mask. What good did you do.
How are you supposed to take care of anyone else if you can't take care of YOU.
Yes... my kids are important to me. I would give my life for either one of them in a heartbeat if I needed to. But I had to remember that I was still human too. As much as I like to think I'm super mom... I'm not. I'm "slightly above average" (thank you Sportacus) mom. My kids are not my identity. They are not what makes me me. If I immersed myself in my kids so much that I neglected myself, I would go crazy.
Remember you. Yes it's great to be a wife and a mom. But remember... before you were either of those you were YOU. And you still are, just with a few other titles attached. So don't forget what you liked to do. Don't forget stupid songs you liked to sing when you were bored. Or your favorite book. Or even some stupid soap opera that you just HAVE to watch. Whatever helps you remember that you are still your own person.
That one took me a little longer to remember. And I'll tell you how I did. I was working one day and my supervisor walked up to me and said "How are you at carving pumpkins?" To which I replied (thinking he meant regular jackolantern type carving) "I'm decent". Oops. He handed me a picture of the vice president of TMobile (where I work) and said "Good, I need you to carve this face on to this (incredibly massive) pumpkin." Which he then proceded to kathump right down on my desk. "Um.... ok."
How the heck was I going to carve a person's face into a pumpkin... and make it look like him?!? I was panicing (panicking?). But then I had a V-8 moment. You know the one right? Where someone comes up to you and smacks ya in the forehead? Yeah, that one.
In college, I took relief printmaking. Carving pictures into things that weren't supposed to have pictures carved into them is what I DID. And I was GOOD at it. I just had to remember I knew what I was doing. And I did it. And let me tell you..... it was fricking hilarious. It was a hit. That big stupid pumpkin that was plopped down in front of me helped me remember a part of me that I had forgotten existed. I was an ARTIST. Not just a photographer, but an ARTIST. How is carving faces into pumpkins art you might ask? It just is. :-)
Hold on to what makes you happy. Remember to take care of YOU too. Because if you're going crazy, or you're too tired to function, how are you going to take care of anything else? I remembered... I love to read. I love to take pictures. And holy cow... I remembered I like to do WAY more than that. And it makes me happy. It lets me remember that I'm still a person. Yes I am a wife and a mother. But I'm also me. I'm Tara. And it's ok for me to remember that every once in a while.