Wednesday, May 12, 2010

If I Want Advice, I'll Ask For It

Have you ever noticed that pregnant women tend to become community property whether they like it or not? People see pregnant women and have no qualms walking right up to her and rubbing her belly. Or talking baby talk to it. Or telling her horror stories about their births. Or telling her that she's going to need to do this for her child. Or "You're not going to eat that are you? You're pregnant." No really? If you hadn't told me I would not have known.

I don't know what it is about the human race and pregnant women. If I see a pregnant lady, part of me wishes I was in her shoes. I miss being pregnant. But am I going to rush up to her and drool all over her belly? No. That would be weird. And I'd probably get arrested.

But a lot of women that I see.... don't like to tell people when they're stepping over the line. The "PLEASE DON'T TOUCH ME I DON'T KNOW YOU YOU'RE BREAKING MY PERSONAL SPACE BUBBLE" line. Me personally, unless someone is being outright vicious to me, I've found I have a hard time telling them "STEP OFF". But in a nicer way of course.

I've seen so many ladies grind their teeth and bear it when someone is telling them "This is what you do when they do this. And you can't eat this or this will happen. When I was a mother we never did...." blahblahblah. Ladies... you don't have to listen to it. It's ok to politely tell them to mind their own business.

The same goes for when you HAVE your children. When they're throwing tantrums in the middle of the store. Or when they ask you for something.

I'll never forget.

Alanna was 3 years old and pitching an outright FIT in the shampoo aisle of walmart. I watched a lady leave her kids who couldn't have been more than 6 and 7 in the aisle where I was and turn the corner to go look at whatever was on the other side. I heard her say (and I'm... nicing it down because the lady was a witch) "She needs to take that brat home and put her to bed." Meanwhile, I'm watching her children sniffing shampoo, taking every bottle off the shelves and literally trying to jam the little hole the shampoo comes out up their noses. Yeah... thanks for the advice lady.

Sometimes people just have no filters. And they think because you're pregnant or you have children it means that they are entitled to comment on what you're eating, saying, doing, feeling, wearing, writing... WHATEVER.

You ARE NOT community property. Just because someone is being nice while they're basically rounding first base with your stomach doesn't mean that you need to let them continue. If you don't want to listen to "you should do this, this, and this," you don't have to. People can tell you how to discipline your kids all they want, doesn't mean you have to pay ANY attention to what they're saying.

If you ask for advice... that's one thing. Great. Pick out things that seem helpful and implement them. If you don't ask for advice, you don't need to hear it. Believe me. I know how frustrating it is to have people expect you to sit back and listen to everything they've ever done with their children because they've been doing it longer than you.

Don't sit back and be miserable. :-)

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