Be Here. Now.

Work taught me that.

At work, worry about work. At home, worry about home. Don't bring the 2 together. Because you end up worrying about one more than the other and the one you're REALLY supposed to be worrying about, isn't actually the one that's worrying you.

I'm only going to talk about one half of the equation today.

Don't let work follow you in the door when you get home. Yes, I understand that you may have had a COMPLETELY crappy day at work, beLIEVE me I know what those are like and it's hard NOT to want to tell someone about it. To rant and vent and just have them listen and say "Wow, I'm sorry" and basically justify your irritation. Scream in the car if you have to all the way home. Pretend someone's sitting in the seat next to you. Talk to that invisible person. Will people see you talking to yourself? Maybe. But how many people now use a bluetooth in their car. You're not going to look out of the ordinary. Trust me. Heck, USE your bluetooth, call someone and talk about it all the way home.

Don't bring it in the house. Your kids are more important than your bad day at work. While you're busy wallowing (wow this is really starting to sound mean, and I promise, I don't mean it as harshly as it's coming out) in how horrible your day was, how poorly you were treated, how tired you are.... your kids are in the background (unless you're like me and you work until midnight) saying "Mommy look at me."

Too many times our kids hear "Not right now" or "Mommy's busy" or "In a minute" but that minute never comes. Too many times when we hear "Mommy play with me" or "Mommy watch what I can do" we say "I can't" or "I'm too tired, you'll have to show me later". Since when did work become more important than our kids?

A woman that I work with shared a story with my training class back in January of 2009... she called her husband up excited one day about the fact that her son started speaking. His response? "I know... he's been saying that for a while." Few days later she called him up jumping for joy saying "He's walking!!!" His response? "I know... he's been doing that for a while." She had been so busy bringing her work home with her that she was MISSING everything that was going on around her. Her son had been walking and talking and she wasn't around enough or present in mind enough to pay attention.

When she told me that I realized... too many times I had heard "Mommy, can I play with you" and being tired I said "No not right now." Or, "I just got home from work, give me a minute".... but the minute never came.

Don't be so wrapped up with work, so upset about something that happened at work, that you can't see what's going on around you. These are precious minutes that you CAN NOT GET BACK. Your children need you to notice them. They need you to love them. They need you to make them a priority. They DESERVE it. You can keep telling them "Give me a minute".... but how many minutes have you LOST doing that?

Don't lose anymore.

When you're home.... BE at home. In body AND in mind. Leave work at work. Or at least at the doorstep. Pick it back up when you leave the next day if you have to.... but don't bring it inside with you.

I Love My Lips

Ok, so I will admit that I started watching this show when I was in the 9th grade. See, I went to a Christian school my freshman and sophomore year in highschool and this is something I got to see during my Bible class. Why show Veggie Tales to highschoolers? Because you can. And because it's cute. And it gets the point across.

It's also great for kids (I had to throw that in there too). When I was a kid I can't tell you how bored I was most Sundays sitting in those hard backed wooden pews and stark white Sunday School classrooms listening to people talk about things that I didn't understand.

The songs are catchy and fun to sing. The movies/shows are cute and explain things to kids in a way a lot of adults can't. They grab their attention and hold it for a while. And what's best? The kids don't know that they're LEARNING at the same time!




A lot of times, I would prefer my kids watch these cartoons over a lot of others (i.e. SpongeBob - although I might be the ONLY parent that doesn't like that show). They teach morals and faith and manners. And sometimes just how to be silly.




The series is good, not just for Sundays, but for every day. I'm not ashamed to admit that I have just as much fun watching Veggie Tales as my kids do. :-)

If You Wanna Jump Around You Need ENERGY

Remember when I said you didn't have to fit the Suzie Homemaker mold? OR the Supermom mold? Yeah. I meant it. So many moms try to do TOO much... and end up running themselves ragged. Literally. They are burning the candle at both ends and they're running out of wick.

Everyone has errands to run and food to make, things to clean and plant and you name it... they've got to do it. But if you are CONSTANTLY go-go-going all day... your "get up and go" is gonna become a "got up and went". After a while you're not going to have ANY energy left to do the things that need to be done.

Don't sacrifice your health, emotionally or physically, because you've got too many things to do during the day.

If you're in good shape (hey, I'm in shape... round is a shape) then being on the move a lot is easier. Less taxing. But everyone has their limits. What I'm saying is.... hit the gym every once in a while. The more you go, the better you'll feel over all and the more you'll be able to do during the day without feeling like you're going to keel over.

Lose the caffeine. Or at least cut back. Yes, that'll pick you up for a while and carry you through some of the more important tasks during your day.... but then it'll slam you right back on your face when it wears off. You crash. Almost literally. Drink lots of water. Drink gatorade. Orange juice. You'll feel more refreshed than you do when you drink, say, a soda (and yes, I'm saying this from experience... I'm currently making the effort to stop drinking soda all together), or a cup of coffee.

Always eat breakfast. I don't care if you're not a breakfast person. After sleeping all (or sometimes only part) night you NEED something to get you going in the morning. And in the words of the best commercial I've ever seen (I believe it was Denny's) "Coffee and milk foam is not a meal." Coffee might wake you up, but it's no substitute for breakfast. Would you put water in your gas tank? You need the right fuel in order to function just like cars do.

Eat lots of fruit and veggies. They're "sports candy" (thank you Sportacus). Eat lots of protein. Stay hydrated (again with the water and gatorade thing). Take vitamins. If you've still got em, take your prenatals. If you don't, sift through the stuff in your cabinets and snag a Flintstones vitamin or 2. Grab some big people stuff when you get a chance to go to the store.

In my opinion, almost every mom is supermom... even without all the running around. Don't try so hard to pack every thing you possibly can in to one day, just to do it all over again the next. It's a vicious cycle. And if you don't stop it, you're just going to continue to drag and drag and drag until you don't feel like you can hold yourself upright.

Baby Blues

Britney Spears.

Honestly... I couldn't stand the girl for the longest time. I absolutely loathed and abhored her with every fibre of my being. Yes. I did. Me. Britney Spears. Hate. Intensely. Anyways, I'm sure everyone remembers when she completely flipped her lid and just went "nuts". Right? Like, oh my gosh what's her problem.

:-X

I knew what her problem was (or at least had an educated guess). And some people speculated about it. But no one really did anything to help her for the longest time. Everyone pointed fingers at her and laughed. Everyone said what a horrible mother she was. Everyone plastered her face all over the tabloids with every single mistake that she made. Every single ugly t-shirt or untied shoe was world news. I mean, holy cow.

I felt SORRY for her. I looked at her and how she was crumbling infront of the entire nation and I felt sorry for her. While everyone was saying she had gone completely loony and was high on drugs and drunk etc.... all I kept thinking of was the complete feeling of almost bone crushing depression she must have.

Now this post isn't about Britney Spears. I kind of got carried away in my analogy.

What I AM talking about is postpartum depression. The frustration a lot of women feel when they try to voice their concerns to someone who blows it off as "baby blues" saying "oh you'll feel better in a week or 2". And the despair women can feel knowing that THEY know something is wrong and no one is going to help them because in their infinite wisdom, they believe otherwise.

So many women are afraid to admit the way they feel. Understandably so.... but it goes back to what I said before. If you can't take care of YOU how are you going to take care of anyone else. ESPECIALLY a newborn child that DEMANDS every ounce of energy and attention that you have.

Everyone is bound to have the Baby Blues. With all of the hormonal changes going on in your body it's pretty much a given. And it's normal. But those usually do subside within a few weeks after you deliver. Postpartum depression is (and forgrive my terminology) baby blues on steroids. The feelings you have intensify and can keep building for months after you give birth.

Please don't be afraid to find help. If, after a few weeks, you notice that you have no enjoyment in the things that used to make you happy, you constantly feel on the verge of tears, you feel hopeless and worthless... if you feel guilty with no reason behind it.... tell someone. If you don't think that anyone without a PhD is going to give a rats ass (pardon my french) find someone WITH one. Tell your own doctor. If you don't feel like you have the energy to get out of bed (not to mean that you're getting no sleep because your baby keeps you up at night), if you notice drastic weight/appetite changes... and here's the big one... if you have thoughts of suicide or harming yourself TELL SOMEONE. Please.

Don't suffer in silence. You are not alone. Don't keep it to yourself because you're afraid of what people will think of you if you spill that you're depressed. If they have a problem with you then who cares what they think anyway right? Don't let someone talk you in to believing that it's just Baby Blues (and for those of you on the receiving end of the "I think something's wrong with me" conversations DONT. I repeat. DON'T. DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT just tell them "it's baby blues. It will go away." I can not tell you how many people I wanted to slap in the face because of that very saying). Just because it WAS baby blues for someone else doesn't mean that you don't feel something different.

Don't be afraid to tell someone. You deserve to be healthy. Mentally and physically. You deserve to be emotionally happy and well. You don't need to wish, every morning when you get out of bed, that you'd never opened your eyes.

Don't be afraid.

Signing Time *Edit

One of the greatest ideas ever was Signing Time. Well, that and Baby Signing Time. Amazing learning tools. And something you can start teaching your kids at an early age. When Lydia was 6 months old she could sign when she wanted "more" to "eat" or a "drink". She could tell me when she was "all done" and when she needed more "milk". By a year she could sign "baby" "blanket" "socks" "shoes" "signing" "time" "juice" and much more. When Alanna was 5-6 years old... we could hold short conversations completely in sign language. She could sign things like "Mommy, I need some more milk please." Or "Can I get up?"

We learned the signs for happy birthday, jump, walk, run, train, bike, plane, family, class, dog, cat, fish, horse, rainbow, clouds, rain, outside. We learned how to count in sign language (which is a TAD bit different than normal counting with fingers). We can say our ABC's and sing certain songs in sign language.

The best time to start teaching them is when they're little. They pick it up SO QUICK. And I know you're probably thinking "When are they ever going to need this. When will I even need this?" You might.

When I worked in the nursery at the Y we had to know enough sign language to tell a mom that her son needed to come in with shoes the next time she brought him. And one of my best girlfriend's sons had learned sign language and would use it when he needed to ask to help or when he had to tell us that he needed to use the potty.

When Alanna was in kindergarten her teacher taught them how to say "thank you" in sign language. The cashier in the cafeteria was deaf. In the 10 years that she had been working there, not once had she had a conversation with anyone who bought lunch from her. After Mrs. Haney taught her class how to say thank you, that day at lunch when the kids went through the line they all signed "thank you" to the cashier. It absolutely made her day.

On top of all that, it's so much fun to learn! For the parents AND the kids.

Check out the videos on YouTube.com or at SigningTime.com

* As an afterthought. How many parents have been frustrated because you don't know what your child is trying to tell you. How many of you have had a child who gets frustrated because they know what they're trying to say, but don't know how to tell you. Teach them sign language. If they can't find the words for what they want to say.... or maybe they're too little still for actual words that make sense to anyone but themselves... they can sign it. It eliminates the frustration and crying and makes life easier for BOTH of you. :-)

See You In The Morning

As one of my good friends put it... "Morning sickness has nothing to do with mornings."

Bingo.

Unless morning time constitutes every second between midnight one day and midnight the next.

But we know it doesn't.

How do you combat morning sickness? Well, people say if you keep crackers next to your bed in the morning... eat some and drink some water before you get up you'll be fine. Does it work? I don't know. I wasn't much for crackers when I was pregnant. Water either come to think of it. Although I could do away with a gallon of whole milk fairly quickly.

Anyways.

I also heard that sour candy helps. You know... those Preggy Pops that you can find in the Motherhood maternity stores are supposed to do wonders. So I bought them. They seemed to help. But I quickly ran out of them and wouldn't you know it? I had gotten the last bag of pops from the store. No one knew when they were due to get more. Crap.

So I'm thinking.... I like sour skittles. If sour Preggy Pops work... Sour Skittles would too right? Right?!? Not that I'm aware of. I did develop a craving for them. But I'm not quite sure if they helped with my morning sickness or not. I do know that I ate too many of them though.

How do I know this?

The sour salt that they put on them burned off the top layer of my tongue. Yep. My tongue started bleeding. I had to quit them cold turkey. Oops.

Honestly, I don't know if all of the "remedies" you hear about work. I really don't. I do know that you should get lots of fresh air (certain smells can cause nausea). Don't go too long without eating (hey, being too hungry can make ANYONE feel sick). Have a doc check to make sure you're not anemic. Low iron can cause you to feel dizzy, lightheaded, AND nauseous. Keep your blood sugar up. If it's been a while since you ate last, but you're not necessarily hungry, suck on a piece of hard candy. Maybe a few sips of a sugary drink. Remember protien. Peanut butter, or even the thought of it sometimes made me nauseous. Eat almonds (salt and vinegar almonds by Blue Diamond are particularly tasty) if you can't stand peanuts or peanut butter.

If something makes you nauseous? Stay away from it. If you find something else that works for you and makes the nausea go away? Awesome! Keep a food diary if you have to. Document the times when you eat, the times you feel like you're going to wretch, the times you have something to drink, what you're doing, etc. It will help. It'll make patterns apparent. If none of this works for you, then I sincerely apologize and you just have to remember... This Too Shall Pass.

Heck, it can't last more than 9 months can it?

Let Them Be Little

I can't tell you how many times I've heard comments about how people are going to treat their kids like little adults. That they'll severely punish their children if they so much as point at something in the store and squeak out a soft "I want that". Or that "My kids won't ever sleep in my bed. I don't care if they are sick or scared."

Is there something terribly wrong about giving your children responsibility? No. Is there anything wrong with teaching them not to nag and ask for every little thing that they say in the store? No. Is there anything wrong with teaching your children that your bed is yours and their bed is theirs? No.

So why the post?

While children might learn not to ask for things.... while they might understand that they have their own room that belongs to them and that's where they sleep every night... while they may learn self control quicker than someone else's kid and might SEEM like a miniature adult to you when it comes to vocabulary and the way they act.... they are little.

It seems like they're little for such a long time. It seems like they just won't ever grow up. It seems like they'll always need you. But that's not the case. They're only little for a little while. They need to know that it's ok to be kids. They need to know that you love them. They need to know that mommy and daddy are there for them. Once in a while they're gonna want to sleep in bed with you. Whether the reason is a thunderstorm or the flu. Or maybe a bad dream. When they hear you tell them NO they might not really give a rats behind the first 50 times. You might have to tell them "Not today" several times pushing the cart through Walmart.

Kids are kids. They are not little adults. They are little people yes. Adults no. If they were born adults then what the heck would they need us for. If it was as simple as saying "When I have kids they're going to do what I say the first time I say it and I won't ever have to tell them again" then I know a LOT of people who would be pretty ticked off that they didn't figure out that parenting method from the get go.

We are here to teach them how to grow. We guide them in the right direction. We give them the tools that they need to be adults. To be teenagers. To be children. Praise them for being who they are and never expect more out of them than you know they're completely capable of. But don't always be disappointed in them if they don't meet your expectations. Sometimes they might try and fail... but that's never as bad as failing to try.

So let your little girl be daddy's princess. Let your little boy play with GI Joes. Heck, let your little GIRL play with GI Joes too if she wants. Fight off the monsters of their nightmares for a while, until they realize that that's all they are... nightmares. Not real. Let them know you're proud of them for who they are. Not just for what they do. Let them be little.